Please forgive my not so perfect English. I chose not to have this edited by anyone in order to keep it exactly, how I felt and experienced each event...
D E D I C A T I O N D I S C I P L I N E P E R S E V E R A N C E
My name is Majken, born and raised in a then tiny little town, Hørning, in Denmark. I am a daughter, sister, friend and athlete residing in Southern California. My professional life along the way has included work as a Certified Personal Trainer, Licensed Sports Massage Therapist, and Writer for various magazines, Speaker, Model in beauty & fashion and sports & athletics, as well as a Stunt Performer.
Enjoy my Ride...
Dedication and Discipline growing up in Denmark:
As a little girl growing up in Denmark, I used to watch and admire my Dad for his dedication and discipline towards physical exercise. My respect and appreciation for that, turned out to become a strong building block for my personal development, my life and career.
Any chance I would get, I would run, do handstands, push-ups, balance on things, create exercise routines etc... I enjoyed the attention, when showing it off; however, I was definitely a “loner”, often hours alone in my room, fully occupied with some little imaginary project...
At 8 years old, I toured Europe with my gymnastic team and club "The Flying Super Kids". At 10, I religiously kept to my morning workout routine, which at that time consisted of a 15-minute run + 15 minutes worth of exercises, and basically the kind of exercises that today are referred to as core and plyometrics. At 14, I discovered the health club environment as well as weight training...
1. 1983 (9 years old), summer vacation in Northern Denmark, Tversted beach, and of course no time to sit around... 2. 1985 (11 years old), practicing and posing:
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Sunny California:
In 1993, 19 years old, and with an earned Degree in Business from Aarhus Købmandsskole, I left for sunny life in California. With the intentions of a short 12-month stay, I am still here! I have traveled back and forth quite a bit, and will continue to do so, in order to spend time with family and friends, as well as for work.
Physical Transformation No. 1, 2, 3...:
No. One:
In the summer of '96 I received my License as a Sports Massage Therapist. With this in hand, and my new knowledge and understanding for the human body, I decided to get serious. I dedicated the next 15 months to building and sculpting my body. It was an amazing experience to watch it change. The ability to manipulate and control it was close to unreal. I decided to get on stage, as a bodybuilder!
In Dec '96, I entered my first NPC amateur bodybuilding competition in L.A., and what an experience, it was. I completely froze on stage! However, with a 3rd place trophy, despite my stubbornness not willing to wear any tanning spray and as a result appearing like a ghost on stage, I was determined! In a short four months, I packed on a lot of natural (!) muscle. It was work, but I enjoyed every bit of it, the training and all the food, I had to consume! Despite the tremendous amounts of food, I put down, I still had a hard time keeping the weight on! I ate too clean, or so I was told. Well, I was also running in secrecy... Actually, I was seen powering along the canyon roads, wearing a lb 22 weight vest as well as a set of lb 5 ankle weights... It must have been quite a sight...
In April '97, I took two 1st places and a 2nd. This was it though, done! Along with my refusal to any kind of supplement intake (except for regular protein powder!), but still constantly having to defend myself from “certain speculations”, and in addition my love for actual ground speed, as in athletics, there was nothing else in it for me. However, I felt extremely empowered by the experience, a feeling, which will stick with me forever!
As always, I needed a new goal! It was clear… And why wait...
Picture 1-2, November 1996 (22 years old), pose practicing on patio. 3. December 1996, first of 4 competitions. White as a ghost, had refused to "paint" myself, but I learned my lesson. Also went on to pack more muscle back on, since I had lost to much in the "diet" process. 4. May 1997, at last NPC B.B. competition. 5. With my B. B. medals and trophies. I was so proud:
No. Two:
The very morning after my last bodybuilding competition, I entered and ran my first local 5K! With no specific goal in mind, other than running the race hard like anything else that I did in life, I won my age group. I had so much adrenaline pumping through my veins, so much excitement and joy… A feeling of pure power, simplicity and peace… One foot in front of the other… Nothing else in mind but the one purpose of moving forward... Aaaah…
The following week my workouts changed drastically. I started running 5-6 days a week, slowly building up, endurance, power, speed etc. My gym workouts changed from a bodybuilding specific appearance and symmetry approach to the one of a functional and performing athlete. On my birthday June 7th '97, and 41 days after my first race, I ran my most memorable 5K race ever. Memorable because for the first time, I had begin to understand the importance of race strategy, pacing etc. Prior to race day I had driven and walked up and down the course, studied the small hills, the turns, the finish... And I had visualized everything, the win, my stride, my outfit for comfort, the spectators, how I would look, when holding back, and when taking over etc. Also I had visualized everything that possibly could go wrong. A mind of a pessimist’s perhaps, however, it gave me a sense of comfort, a feeling of control and being fully prepared! I won my age group with 5K race pace of exactly 6.0 min/mile. Two weeks later decreased to a 5.89 min/mile.
1. May 1997 (22 years old), my first 5K race, the morning following my last B.B. competition:
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Internal Struggles ahead:
Three:
With the intentions of continuing to run and race, I wanted to try out in modeling, most little girls’ dream… Give it a shot at least; by all means, I was in America, the land of opportunities! The extremist that I am, and a bit blinded by glitz and glitter, of course it had to be in the world of fashion... This obviously required a total transformation, not only physically, but mentally as well. Soon I was studying high fashion magazines and runway shows, body mechanics when walking, posing, facial expressions etc...
With the need to lose physically everything, which I had built, my body slowly started to change! It was my personal decision, so it was “all good”… However, it became an internal struggle! Watching my body disappear to nothing, it felt, as if my joy and pride, like a loyal partner, left me or simply disappeared...
I did my first test-shoot. Having just purchased a pair of beautiful eyeglasses, I decided to wear the glasses on a few of the shots. I showed the pictures to the eyewear store, where I had bought them. The images went on to the actual designer of the frame, and he was interested! He soon purchased the rights to two of the images for national advertising of his newest rim-less designs, the same I had worn. Still without an agency, I continued testing, practicing, as well as working and serving in a little local coffee shop, doing massage therapy and personal train a few people. I found an agency and signed. Things were looking good!
1. 1998 (23 years old), the picture picked for Designer Kazuo Kawasaki's eye-wear campaign, whom today is still designing frames. 2. 1998, an article in a Danish magazine, profiling me as a Dane living abroad, making the switch from bodybuilding to running and modeling:
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Ignoring your Instincts:
A “minor” problem surfaced... My relatively new agency began to complain about my legs! Too much definition and they told me to stop running... Despite my instincts, I listened to them. As I saw it at the time, not doing so would be the same as giving up, and I was not about to do that! However, I did not stop running all together either, worse, I learned to manipulate the body for castings and jobs requiring specific looks…
I made an ok living in the world of fashion modeling, couture gowns, fine jewelry, runway shows, private designer events etc., and the exposure, a cover, a campaign, a tear sheet, an event would give me joy, well, a moment of joy, only to leave me feeling out of place, insecure and uncomfortable!
My agency then called me with the “5lb” word…
Since I worked as a Personal Trainer as well, and knew about health, they, the agency, felt comfortable recommending me to drop five pounds… The person closest to me at the time, told me over and over again to stick with fashion, since there never would be real money in fitness and sports modeling... I did not care anymore! Money or not, at least I would be able to train, and feel happy. I requested an agency switch. Shortly thereafter, I signed with another L.A. based agency, this time specializing in life style, athletics and sports.
All pictures took place between 1998-2001 (24-27 years old). 1. The picture, front of Zed Card, which pretty much landed me all my jobs. 2. My first Magazine Cover. Even though it was not a National/International magazine, it took me further into the industry, as well as helped me land runways shows etc. 3. One of my most fun Fashion shoots, and wearing some of the most beautiful gowns. Here in a Badgley Mischka, and on my head a 5lb heavy fresh flower arrangement. The scent of the flowers, beautiful gowns, it was quite amazing. 4. One of my first test shoots, learning and practicing the whole hand and finger action. 5. For a while I was one of two girls always shooting and walking at private parties for this particular designer, wearing her couture gowns, and here her lingerie:
Changes:
On the side, my personal training clientele grew steadily, and it was about time to take my actual C.P.T., Personal Trainer certificate. With my background and personal experiences, I felt mentally able to relate to a large variety of people. Those, who desired thick, pure muscle mass, the clear spirits of runners and athletes, and then those wanting a stick thin body. It was, as if I would jump into each client’s body, feel their desire and dedication, their fear and their struggles... Every single client touched me, then, and continue to do so...
With a new agency, a solid personal training clientele as well as working out and running again, things seemed great! However, major change in my personal life led to the decision to pack my belongings and to move back home to my family in Denmark…
In Denmark again - leaving a few foot-prints:
The year was 2002, and I had been away for 8 1/2 years. I moved, I settled in, and I started to work at one of the largest fitness chains in the country. Personal Training, at that time, was close to non-existent, so I was ahead of the game. Ahead of the game, yet I suddenly found myself in an environment, where people in general had no concept of, what a Personal Trainer was. On top of that, very few spent money on themselves, particularly if those things or services appeared to be luxurious. It was considered waste, actually selfish! I worked at the two locations in the city of Aarhus as an Instructor, Personal Trainer, as well as functioned as a consultant for the existing Personal Trainers, whom all had very little practical experience, simply due to the Danish culture. However, during my four months working there, we raised the bar in Personal Training tremendously! We were now competing with the centers in Copenhagen, the capital and largest city in Denmark, where culturally people always have been a bit more “big city-minded” and open to outside influence. Earnings in our Personal Training department increased with well over 200%! The most rewarding of it all though, were the looks in the eyes of those, whom had "given in", and paid the money to become actual personal training clients. Their doubts and hopes had turned to confidence and joy. It was extremely gratifying!
Thoughts of unfinished business in relation to earlier career ideas and goals, when living in California, were hunting me though. My presumed new life in Denmark shortened to a six-month stay. So once again, I packed, I left, and traveled back to California...
Back in action:
I pretty much picked up, where I had left, all though, this time with more courage and energy than before. With the same sports and life style agency, as well as most of my previous Personal Training clientele, things took off, and quickly! I was up at 4 am in the mornings to go running, clients from break of dawn until noon, then auditions... Soon I was landing print campaigns for NIKE, Champion, Mizuno, Avia, EAS etc, magazine, book, CD covers, - as well as national TV commercials. First TV commercial rated as “…one of NIKE’s the best: Wild Horses…” Now, this was great, running and sprinting all day, and being paid for it! My agency was thrilled, and so was I!
All pictures took place between 2002-2006 (28-32 years old). 1. Cover of Muscle & Fitness "HER's". 2. Campaign shoot for Mizuno. Extremely fun day. The whole Japanese grew, with owners, flew in from Japan. 3. Cover for a Canadian magazine. 4. NIKE print campaign including Billboard. 5. Stock photography job, which you do to fill in. It was in San Diego, and with a great crew and photographer. 6. Another Stock photography gig. 7. Cover for Runner's World. On this particular job, I (or they) definitely got their money worth of running. I was chasing a speeding jeep on the beach for two hours, lol. 8. A two year print campaign for EAS "AdvantEdge". A beautiful day in the Malibu hills. 9. An editorial shoot for SHAPE magazine, and this particular shot kept popping up their mag's year after year, and with lots of interesting comments on, how I stayed in shape... 10. My first of three COMPETITOR magazine Covers:
Action - literally:
In 2003, coincidently, I was introduced to the world of Stunts. At a supposedly ordinary commercial audition one day, I had to pretend to be beaten and thrown around by a monster. Crazy as I am, I thought, it was fun, and it gave me a serious rush. I called my agent that same day to connect me with someone in the business. And so, shortly thereafter I met with a local Stuntman and Coordinator, who also personal trained other Stunt Performers, as well as lead selected group training. Soon, I was jumping of roofs, kicking, punching, doing flips in the air, trampoline, air-ram etc. It was a completely different world. These athletes seemed like a different type of species. They often risk their lives; they throw themselves around, up and down, and for the most part, never to become recognized, because they are doubling someone else... I really admired them, then and now. In a relative short time, about a year, I went from doing stunts in TV-promo’s to national/international TV commercials, highly acclaimed, and still running TV series, as well as to hitting the big screen in “Ocean’s 13”. Work included doubling and guest role appearances, which required stunt work.
1. 2004 (30 years old), a snapshot from the CBS TV serie 'CHARMED'. I (to the left), then Spice Williams and Cory Everson are the HULK versions of, what the three witches turn into in that particular episode named "HULKUS POCUS", stunt coordinated by Noon Orsatti. FUN! All bruised up of course from being thrown around all day, lol!:
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Addictions:
Along with modeling, stunt work and personal training, I continued to run and race local 5 and 10K’s, but without any serious goals. So as always, I got the itch to find a new challenge… In early 2005, I began to train for my first marathon. Once again, it felt like an injection of new energy and power, a sensation I seemingly kept seeking! I guess, much like an addict and his need to seek the rush! Do we not all know, this is not a good thing…
Things were about to change… An irritation in my right hip appeared, which resulted in never to get a single run above the 15th mile point, and therefore never to do a marathon. Much like my first strategized race had become forever memorable to me, so did my last 15-mile endurance and training run! It was a Sunday morning, literally pouring down with rain, no other runners spotted, in fact only very few cars… I remember running with a big smile, even looking up in the sky, tasting the raindrops… It was so peaceful! The more tired I became, the more I wanted to continue! Hills, flats, mud and heavy shoes… When legs seemed close to giving up, I would direct my attention to my breathing, and when the lungs seemed empty, I went on to my posture, - it was the greatest feeling, I kept re-energizing myself, feeling on top of the world, above everything and everyone…
"Cashing in" on inactivity:
Despite the continuously growing hip irritation, I continued to run short distances; however, it only resulted in more injuries… To spare my body, I was thinking of less active ways of making income… Hm... Inactive as in seated; health, fitness and training as in me; writing as in liking... I contacted a major (at the time) fitness & training magazine in Denmark for possible interest in articles and updates from the LA fitness and training industry. Within a month, they had hired me as their LA Correspondent, to bring their thousands of readers, monthly updates and articles on training techniques, programs etc.! However, one still could not sit still… I continued on with my training as much, as I could, as well as training clients, doing modeling and stunt work… Then…
Pictures all between 2004-2007 (30-33 years old). 1. First Cover of mine for the Danish magazine Workout & Fitness (W&F). 2-3. A four page introduction article of me to the W&F readers, which I was about to supply with info from the fitness industry and L.A. market. 4. An editorial (bridal) shoot, including Vera Wang gowns, here in a "Honey Moon" lounge and swim-wear design. 5. A shot from a picture series, which also resulted in a second Cover for Danish W&F. 6. From an editorial shoot, here in NIKE's yoga wear. 7. One of several print campaings for AVIA. 8. Another AVIA campaign. This shot was used as a "Back Cover" for several different fitness magazines. 9. From an 6-8 pages editorial shoot, showing the most extraordinary and beautiful fine jewelry, Tiffany, Cartier, Bvlgari etc.:
SNAP!:
May of 2006, something snapped in the hip! For the first time ever, I had to stop a run. My immediate response was of course to ignore the pain and to continue on. However, this felt different! I could barely walk home…
A Speaker struggling to hold the body together:
The magazine, which I wrote for, invited and offered to fly me to Denmark to appear as a Guest Speaker at one of their major health and fitness conventions. It would be a great opportunity to connect with my readers, and the pay was not bad either... I had to go! Presenting and demonstrating for close to two hours, I did my best not to show the present physical weakness and the on and off pain. Despite my condition, the event turned out to be a success! In fact, to this day, I am still in contact with people from the audience, socially as well as on a work related basis…
September 2006 (32 years old). 1. Second Cover for the W&F magazine. At the convention, where I presented, they had it displayed as a man-sized "bill-board" as well. 2. Shot from my presentation:
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Being naïve:
A year passed, all the while believing, that the pain in hip would go away, and that I was mentally exaggerating it. When it got to the point, that I without warning would have sharp pains to the point of collapsing even when standing, as well as looking like the “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”, when walking, I figured, it was time to do something. It took four doctors to acknowledge, that something was wrong enough to begin to operate on. However, it did not seem to be that serious, so along with my naïveté, and the doctor telling me, that I most likely would be running again 3 weeks later, I went under the knife…
Reality hits:
However, it turned out, that I had a 2 x 1.5 cm bone-on-bone situation going on (right on the weight-bearing area), a labrum tear and yes, the spur, plus a bunch of unexplainable pieces of loose “bodies” floating around in the joint… Come to think later, that when your body has been “crushed”, in an upright and standing position, by someone (accidently) slamming 100 miles an hour down and on top of your shoulders, to the point, that you actually did not fake your stunt fall, but you in reality were knocked out, just maybe that would explain it… I woke up after surgery, with the news, that they had “cleaned up” the joint, fixed the labrum, performed a “femoro-plasty” procedure, a chondro-plasty, as well as a “micro-fracture”… The “micro-fracture” itself is a procedure, where they intentionally create trauma in the area by making micro-fractures in the healthy bone, or in other words they drill holes in your healthy bone, with the intentions of the patient’s bone-marrow to seep through those holes, and over time regenerate a new substance like cartilage. They then told me, that it would take a bit more than three weeks, before I would be able to run again… More likely 1-2 years! And with an intense look and tone to his voice, my surgeon continued on to explain, that the “micro-fracture” procedure was not an ordinary and common surgery, so to watch out for anyone working with me. Movement was OK, but no weight bearing, in standing position, or even pushing the accelerator in the car for an approximately 8 weeks period. He topped it off by saying, that the success rate of a “micro-fracture” surgery pretty much is genetically depended, so we should wait and see… My mouth dropped…
I was going to prove them wrong! Three months, that was my goal, and I would slowly start to run again! By all means, my genetics had never ever let me down! Waking up in my bed the next morning though, not being able to move my right leg, no matter how much, I focused, it is was devastating! I grabbed an exercise band under the bed, strapped my right foot, “broken hip” side, and slowly pulled it up the sheet to a full knee flexion, then to straighten the leg out again. The Doctor had told me motion was good, just no weight bearing… I created my own little workout program, got myself down on the floor, placed right leg on top of left for support, and in deep concentration, I let go off all contractions in the right leg, then starting with push-ups, next lower back extensions, scapulae retractions… Aaahhh, it felt so good, as if all the leftovers of the anesthesia were forced out of my body. Throughout the day, I would visualize all intended movements before acting them out, including the most efficient way to get out of bed, down on the floor, up again, to get to the bathroom, kitchen etc. Under these circumstances, living in a small apartment, - nice!
May-June 2007 (just turning 33 years old). 1. Two days post arthroscopy. 2. Two weeks after...:
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Going “deep”:
The following four months was a strange time… My belief system kept flickering… One minute, deep down and inside I felt, that I would return to my athletic and active life. The next, I felt that I never would, and really, in my mind, my life then had no meaning! No sports meant no work, no hobby, no more feeling good, no pride, joy and no control! My spirit was in a dark place… However, it did not keep me from getting up, taking care of things, house cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, driving with left foot etc. The gym I hit 5 days after surgery. My workouts were minimal, and they required quite a bit creativity, but it was important for me to go, mentally! Core training, I had done for years, however, it was not till now, that I began to really “get deep” and “go inside myself”… During an exercise, a single movement, I began to visualize the spine, the joints, the contraction and extension of the supporting core muscles, fibers, their origin and attachment, along with their individual purpose of stabilizing a joint, and together the body as a whole… Besides core training in the gym, it was safe to say, that my upper-body and left leg became quite strong from jumping around on the crutches. In fact, it must have gotten to me a bit… In my head, I actually created a form of a “unity” between the crutches and myself. I imagined our movements like an artist’s pencil stroke on a canvas, light, smooth though with a targeted precision. I even imagined it to one day become a part of my stunt work… Oh boy…
Loss of Trust:
A week after surgery, I had my first rehab session with a recommended Physical Therapist. I explained to him, the type of surgery performed, the movements allowed, and what I had been doing on my own. I even gave him the rehab protocol, which my Surgeon had said to keep handy as well. He told me to get on the table, face up, so he could test flexibility and range of motion of the hip. Perhaps he should have asked me questions before hand, just a few… Holding down my left leg, he grabbed right ankle and yanked it up! Not knowing, that I always have had extremely flexible hips, and have the capability of performing splits and straddles, my straight leg (bad hip side) went, to his surprise, all the way to my head! I returned to the facility one additional time, to get my money back! Another similar situation occurred but with a different Therapist, and from then on, my naiveté and trust of others took a deep fall!
Giving in:
My rehab slowly progressed. I began pedaling on the stationary bike… With the crutches next to the bike, I slowly started to believe again. People tried to convince me to come out and ride with them. I wanted to for the sake of cardio; however, I kept resisting and making excuses. My stubbornness was not about to accept the facts of reality. Like a little child insisting on getting his or her way, my gut kept telling me, that I was a runner, not a cyclist, and that is the way, it should be! Eventually, I gave in… Late September 2007, four months post surgery, I went out the first time… Then memories began to surface, - myself as a college student on my way to school… With a heavy backpack and on my bike, spring, summer, fall and winter, I used to “race down” all the mopeds, and it used to make me laugh… I suddenly saw opportunities! October ’07 I started a training program…
November 10th, 2007, watching Kona Ironman, the World Championship of Triathlons, I will never forget! Online, and glued to my computer screen, I watched the competitors on their TT bikes racing for time. I visualized myself there, and it brought me such an extreme high, - the same kind of high, I had felt so many times before, planning and laying out my 5 and 10K running race strategies. However, when I watched the competitors transitioning to their runs, and with the reality of my own physical situation, sadness came over me, similar to the kind, when you lose someone close to you… I remembered a wise person’s words, that it is okay to miss someone, however, moving on is a must. I accepted then that my “friend”, whom had “run” right by my side, wherever I had been throughout my life, was no more… I also knew that I was going to be okay! Cycling was not bad, at all!
Cycling:
I was getting stronger, quite fast! I rode 5-6 days a week, endurance, hills, sprint training. I was flying high. So high, that it actually exceeded everything and anything, which I had ever felt in relation to sports and athletics. My confidence grew, and for the first time ever, I envisioned myself being able to train with others! I began to search for local riding clubs and teams, I was determined. I continued to improve, as well as becoming more detailed in regards to heart rate, training zones, race pace, power output etc.
Time Trial Test:
Late November ’07, two months into riding, I found myself studying the local 5-mile and so called “Mandeville” hill for hours. I wanted to find out, where I stood in comparison to the female riders doing the monthly Time Trial up the hill. Up and down in my car 5-6 times, I set up imaginary mile markers, hill grade markers… I determined at what point on the hill to “fire it up” and be able to hold the pace, before I would set into the final 12% grade hill sprint. And so I raced... An unofficial PR of 22 minutes…
Belonging somewhere – for a moment…:
Saturday morning, the following week, as I was heading up the coast, I bumped into a group of riders. They were all extremely nice and welcoming; not exactly, what I, as a former runner, had heard about cyclists! They were supposed to be a bunch of snobs, actually... Turned out of course, not to be true! I tagged on in the back, however, about 20 miles into the highway ride, when everyone set into a sprint, needless to say, they dropped me. As much as I hated that, I also knew the facts. With less than three months of training under my belt, limited bike-handling skills, why would I even begin to think, that I could keep up! And on another note, as the runner, I once was, I remember how irritating it was, when not being credited for the years of dedication and discipline to one’s sport. The line “oh, it is so easy for you”, I had heard so many times… These riders obviously had put time and effort into their sport, so as a beginner, you respect that! It felt good though, because my mind was set, I was going to learn it all, practice it all! I had just begun…
The group, which I had tagged on to, was the “N.O.W. MS-Society” club. The club had several teams, including a women’s team… I joined! For the first time ever, I actually felt, as if I really belonged somewhere. A group of people as nuts, as I was, women that had dreams and desires, fears and struggles, as well as the need to be out on the road to suffer, because it feels good! Just like myself…
1. December 2007 (33 years old), my Team jersey. I was proud!:
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A Stick in the Wheel:
Too much too soon! I knew better! Aaahhh, man... I train people for a living! Running legs do not equal cycling legs, and I had barely come out of surgery! It was a tough one for me to gauge though, since I felt great, and not only that, the strengthening of my legs were in fact taking a lot of pressure off of my hip, which in return seemed to stabilize my walking ability…
As December went on, I started to experience on and off pain in my knees. I had several professional bike fittings done, but strange it was, nothing changed. Nobody seemed to be able to pinpoint the problem. The aches and pains would jump from left to right knee, from the inside of knees to the outside…
First Saturday of 2008, I went to the Carson Velodrome, with the girls from the Team, to become certified. A bit nervous, I have to say, bikes without brakes and the track itself… Sitting through the first one-hour long seminar, sweating and wondering how many times I was going to lose control of the bike and take down the rest of the riders, oh boy, this was going to be interesting… I kept my cool, - I “went inside” my head, as always, my safe place, and I got on the bike. Little did I know, that years of core work was about to pay off! I absolutely loved it! I felt in complete control, not that I was in complete control, lol, but I definitely had fun! Finished our hour at the top of the track…
Sunday, January 13th, 2008 was the year’s first “race-simulation ride”, and I had committed to do it. Of course, I was all fired up! Showing up as the only girl though, hm, another interesting experience awaiting… I obviously knew, what would happen. Once the signal to set into race pace would be given, I would be gone, gone as in dropped. I re-strategized. The guys were out of my league, so I became my competition. I felt good and careless. I knew my competition so well, and I knew that I would never be able to beat her! So my goal for that Sunday AM ride became to simply satisfy her! And, so I did! It was a great ride, my hardest ever! As well as my last…
Perseverance - as I see it…:
At times, it is good, not to know, what lies ahead of you... The following two months I was close to bed ridden. MRI’s of both knees showed nothing but swelling and fluid, good thing, however the tendonitis in both right and left patella tendons/ligaments, as well as both quadriceps tendons were so severe, that I was not able to stand for more than 5 minutes at the time. I have had tendonitis before, who has not (?), but this time I had hot and cold flashes shooting up and down my legs, from ankles to hips, to the point that it felt, as if my legs would buckle under me. My work in modeling and stunts was obviously at a zero, and training clients became extremely challenging physically, and mentally as well. The joy of helping others get fit and healthy, recover from injuries etc., I seemingly had lost…
April ’08, and three months post “my greatest ride”, the tendonitis was manageable, but now an annoying irritation behind/under both kneecaps had presented itself. Diagnosis: chondromalacia or patella-femoral-syndrome. The knee-caps were not tracking correctly, most likely due to muscle imbalance and tightness, - go figure with all my jumping around on one leg and crutches the previous year… Along with hip, glute and core exercises, I tried to get on the bike a few times for a bare 5-15 minutes, easy, no resistance, but it would worsen every single time. The 90-degree leg/knee angle would set it off, so sitting was not a good solution either. On top of this, with the decreasing strength and power in my legs, due to the recommended rest from close to anything, which required the use of my legs, my right hip became unstable again! Once again, walking and standing would cause hip to give out under me, resulting in the same shear pain as prior to surgery a year ago. It felt as a “no-win” situation! And it did not get better…
Loneliness:
I really tried hard to stay positive, but everything seemed to turn to negatives in my head, which gave me a guilt trip beyond belief! The fact that my physical situation affected me so much, made me shake my own head. I was no way near a life threatening condition, or anything like that, so many people suffer from “real” issues, I sincerely felt embarrassed and ashamed! Hurting my lower back during a rehab session, and now with sciatica, I began to feel claustrophobic, as if everything was closing in on me. I was lacking the mental “space”, which my training had always given me. On and off, my throat would tighten up, making it hard to breathe, and holding back the tears was a struggle. The anxiety attacks would come on with no warning, mostly though when I was around something, that reminded me of, what I could not do, training, which meant, when I was at the gym doing my rehab, with clients, as well as around other athletes. It was a lonely feeling. Despite of this, I never missed a day of rehab and/or training upper body. I knew that if I gave that up, I would sink even deeper. For the first time in my life probably, I did not overtrain! I did exactly and only, what I was told. I would get slightly better, but not good enough to be able to ride, obviously run, or even go for walks…
Thinking outside the "Box":
I continued my pursue to physical recover. I began studying, searching for new specialists locally and worldwide, and only those who specialized in athletes, connecting with them, traveled to meet and work with them etc. I was still extremely limited physically, but with my increasing knowledge and understanding as to my rehab, I felt, as if things were turning a bit, and my smile came back on my face… I began to think outside the “box”, and went on to pick up an upper body and core challenge as in “doing the rings” at the beach, LOL! I remember researching and watching footage of the pro male gymnasts on the rings… The tremendous amounts of control, power and strength that they showed, was amazing. I kept on tearing up my palms, until they were bleeding, but it was fun. I started searching for gymnastic stores, where I could purchase proper grips and other gear...
1. "The Rings" at the Santa Monica beach and near the pier:
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A loud Surprise:
Last Sunday of August, Labor Day weekend ’08, I was moving into a new place. Almost done, just one more thing! A large mirror, 4’x6’. I got a good grip on it, and started to walk out. A few concrete steps to go… I should have looked down though, to make sure, that the bottom of the mirror was up high enough, so it would not hit the step…
No! This cannot be happening…:
It was extremely loud, and the sound of glass breaking seemed, as if it went on forever… It felt though like a split of a second from, when I was holding the mirror, until I suddenly had nothing in my hands. I was in shock, had no idea, what had just happened. I was hoping that nobody had heard anything, so I quickly could clean up the mess. Embarrassingly I looked around and noticed that the house wall was completely covered in blood, and my pants and shoes were soaked. It came from my arm, the inside, by the wrist. Things were sticking out, and it looked crazy, but I did not feel a thing. It just could not be happening! I wanted to rewind so so badly! I should have looked down! I should have asked for help! I was close to panic, but kept it together… But this was not me, - and how was I going to work out now... My neighbor yelled out, if everything was okay. I was thinking, yes, everything is just fine, but looking at my arm again and the bloody mess, I had made, I had no cool answers left, and I quietly said “no”… When the paramedics arrived, it was beginning to blacken, like little black flies, lots of them, then gone, then everywhere again… I remember feeling dizzy... Not liking to let go of control, I did, I suddenly felt safe…
PAIN:
The ER was a nightmare. The assisting nurses kept on wrapping more bandage around my wrist, since the bleeding would not stop. And while the bed next to me had three patients in and out, the pain continued to increase. I do not think, I have ever cried out loud before, and I tried to hold it inside, but this, as well as being completely ignored, was just out of this world! Approximately three hours after I had checked in, the Doctor finally came to look at me. He undid the arm wrappings and checked the wound. He looked me in the eyes, held the contact for a few seconds, and then excused himself, and left. I could hear him on the phone, and a few minutes later, he came back with another person. They left, came back with yet a third one. They were all very caring suddenly. The Doctor patched me up with 36 stitches, a splint, and informed me, that I needed to see a hand and arm specialist to make sure, that I would regain full function and feeling of my hand again! Surgery happened five days later. Turned out, I had shredded through all the tendons, including the median nerve. Now with a cast, and later a plastic brace from elbow to finger tips, which every other week were reshaped to controllably stretch out the tendons, I was looking at 12 weeks without the use of my hand, as well as a prognosis of a couple of years, till I hopefully would have regained full sensation and feeling again…
1. August 2008 (34 years old), wrist/arm "patch up" after my ER visit. 2. September 2008, wrist/arm post surgery:
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Falling apart:
The arm and hand I could deal with, however my knees would worsen with any light attempt of strengthening my legs or riding my bike/trainer. And walking, as well as some of my specific and prescribed core exercises, would worsen my hip! The symptoms and pains prior to hip surgery, 18 months ago, was now a daily matter. Walking down the street for a cup of coffee was a struggle…
Believing…:
My whole existence had always rested in my physical health. As in my work, from an appearance and a performance aspect, my self-confidence, my courage, my pride, it had been my hobby, my “bread and butter”. I had always been able to count on my physique! It had always been there for me, like a best friend... I once read that athletes hold a tremendous mental power to overcome pain. True or not, I chose to believe in it, and that I possessed that particular mental strength to get through anything. So, physical recovery or not, eventually, one day, I would be okay and find peace. However, I did also know that to reach that point, I would need a little help... I savored every little piece of information on mental health and strength that I would get. It could be a comment from a stranger, a client, a phrase or story from a magazine or book. It came from online forums, actual conversations with professionals, coaches, friends and family… Throughout this, my search for answers, in relation to my physical health, and ways to improve hip and knees, continued as well…
Accepting and letting go…:
Early 2009, my approach to physical recovery once again changed, or I should say, it evolved… I went on my “own”, away from the “statistics”, with a pursuit to find my problem, and what it would take for me to return to physical activity. It became my study, and a very personal one…
I continued to communicate and seek advice from doctors, specialists, therapists, coaches, elite-pro athletes, worldwide, all of whom I highly appreciate, respect and feel extremely fortunate to have been, and still be, in contact and communication with. The combination of their expertise, help and support, along with the building belief and trust in myself, I accepted the facts of “what is”, versus “what was, and used to be”, and, to the best of my ability, I let go of years of stubbornness, ego and control… I surrendered…
At the “Starting Line”:
Finally, realizing that number one comes before number two, and certainly before number ten, I had understood, (this took me awhile!), that I needed to go back, way back, start over, from scratch, from the floor, lying down, and slowly move forward!
As in competition: Only a fool begins a race halfway through the course, and in an all out sprint! To win your race, you follow the rules, you begin at the Starting Line, you monitor yourself, you take it all in, you build up, you hang in there, even when it sucks, you keep your focus and then, deep inside, you will know, when it is time to set into the finishing sprint…
Step by step… Day by Day…:
Step by step, the neurologic mind & body connection, static muscle isolation and contraction, eyes open, eyes closed, on the floor, seated, standing, stationary to dynamic to functional… Conditioning the core and stabilizing the joints with proper alignment… Day by day, evaluating movements, exercises, sessions, rest-days, reasons for pain and gain, failures and successes, disappointments and smiles, to hours and hours of looking up specific muscles, nerves, tendons or descriptions of new sensations discovered, I slowly, very slowly began to feel more stabilized, my body more at ease and more efficient! Actually, I began to feel proud of, what I, with my limitations, had accomplished, and now was able to do!
July 2009 (35 years old), shooting with sports Photographer and friend Rich Cruse in the Santa Monica hills. 1. The shot, which became the Cover of the Nov/Dec '09 issue of the COMPETITOR magazine. The same issue also included a one page article featuring myself and my approach on Core training. 2-5. Additional shots from the same day:
The Word! RUN:
Sept 18th, 2009, one of my very much trusted Doctors gave me the word, “try to do, what you used to do, let’s test it! Run…”
Are you kidding me… My heart was racing, about to pop out my throat! Unreal! Someone, and then a Doctor, actually was telling me to go running… I was estatic, at the same time extremely nervous though, and afraid of what might happen, the shear pain, that was still present, when taking a “wrong” step, however, most of all, I was afraid of the already building excitement, which very likely could lead to yet another disappointment…
Having spent close to a year building up on the “elliptical” machine, (from two minutes 3 x weekly to 60 minutes…), with the intentions of keeping joint alignment, core etc. in check while in movement, but without the pounding of walking, I began to plan for my attempt to run… I spent a couple of weeks analyzing and visualizing how to transform the “elliptical-form” into proper running-form… Not that I had not worked on my running form before, but it had been over four years since the last run, not even daring to cross a street in a jog, it would take time for the whole body to adapt, if even possible… This could very easily turn into the “classic” example of someone returning to a sport with the memory and eager of, what used to be, only to start straining, pulling this or that muscle, develop new injuries etc… I wanted to play it smart! However, I would also need to avoid the still existing problem in the hip, which of course the Doctor knew about! I felt the most stabilized since surgery (May ’07) though, and able to walk and move for the most part without the “collapsing” kind of pain shooting through the hip! However and still, a wrong step, unstable surface, loss of pelvis control and posture due to fatigue, wrong shoes, a full stomach, the “female monthly cycle”, you name it, I ran the risk of that same shear pain. But Doctor had told me… Man, I like this Doctor! And I was willing to take on the challenge…
A wrong Step…:
I created a plan, which obviously included my continuous rehab program, and one, flexible as to the daily feeling of the hip… Starting out with 30 seconds jogging, 1-minute walk, 30 seconds jogging, 1-minute walk, for a total of 5-minute jogging time twice a week… Swollen ankles, sore knees, cracking and popping everywhere! “Things” certainly had changed over the years… Hip, as long as I kept a specific and perfect form, so to speak, I seemingly was okay! However, a slight forward lean, a turn, too much foot pronation, a slight drop or rotation in hip, unevenness of the ground, the pain was there… You can say that the existing hip injury literally forced me to do serious work on my running form! It became my new game! Keeping form and control, strength wise (referring to the small stabilizing muscles), as well as endure it for an increasing amount of time… My focus during those short jogs, which eventually turned to short runs, was extreme and went deep inside…
Early 2010, I was feeling safer and more stabile running than walking, or even standing! I am certain, it was due to the focus of control during the runs, the improvement of joint alignment and core control, that I was able to keep it together. Whereas during one’s daily life, with cell phone in one hand, food in the other, taking steps, then turning to look for something etc., there is no way, you possibly can do the same…
A very fine Line:
February 2010, the 30-second jogs had added up to three comfortable 2-3.5 mile runs weekly, yes nothing extraordinary to the athlete or general exercise enthusiast, however, for me it was! Watching recordings of my runs and studying myself over and over again, feet, knees, hips, mid-section, elbows, hands, shoulders, my head, expressions, I kept on improving. My 5K (3.1miles) mile pace was now down to a 7.6 min/mile, and I knew, nine more months I could be in the sub 6 again… However, there was a very fine line, which could not be crossed! Slight fatigue in the stabilizing muscles, right hip side, I would be done! Learning to stop, not prior to pain, but prior to fatigue and in the stupid little stabilizing muscles, - give me a brake… How does one apply the rule, when finally out there running, which is what, one has missed for so long, and is, the time, when one is the most relaxed?… Not easy... I kept my focus to the best of my ability!
1. March 2010 (35 years old), a snap-shot of a video recording to evaluate my running form. Since then, and from studying it over and over, I managed to change quite a few things: less of an upper body tilt to the right, less rolling on left foot, and pelvis pushed further under me for (in my case) better joint support as well as a much more effecient running stride:
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“You have a stone in your shoe…”:
March 2010, after hours, days, months and years of persistently hunting down doctors, researchers, specialists, therapists, coaches, athletes, along with the constant evaluation and detailed attention paid to my body mechanics, consistently doing my rehab and keeping my focus, I received the long awaited confirmation that… I am not nuts! I take that back, the Doctor did say, “well, you probably are to a degree”, and we laughed... That I am a bit nuts, I am very much aware of, lol, however, to be provided with the facts, that I have not been making up the hip pain, and that a month or two of rest, is not going to heal it, it was, as strange as it sounds, a relief… A relief to know, that something was wrong!
Think of it as having a little stone in your shoe… It may not always hurt, but when it strikes or gets stuck in that one particular and sensitive area, continuing to rub deeper and deeper into your foot, and beginning to actually make its way through your protective surface, your skin… And then, when you lose a moment of concentration and foot control, the stone is back in the raw spot, digging deeper and deeper, and you want to scream out loud…
Well, I do not know, what you would do, but I am going to take my shoe off, shake it, and let it fall out…
Surgery it is...
April 2nd, 2010:
With surgery scheduled for Wednesday, April 28th, I continued on w/my rehab etc. My goal was to go in and under as strong and stabilized as possible, which would include my new and improved running-form, and the hope that the short amount of time, I had been able to run, just maybe, would have been enough time to leave me with a bit of muscle-memory for after my recovery. But with my luck, and still a few weeks to go, well, I guess, that meant plenty of time for things to happen, - so why not add on to the list, a whip-lash…
The Neck…:
Whip-lashes happen to too many people, however, so far I had been spared. The one funny thing about this incident was, that of all places, it happened at the gym… In a standing position, a slight forward lean, chest against bench, and bench between my legs, latch comes loose, POW, bench collapses! Thankfully, no serious injury! Most likely due to severe muscle strains and swelling, the oxygen flow to the axillary nerve to the left arm became restricted, causing numbness and a lot of strange sensations and palpations in the arm, severe muscle cramps in chest, back and neck… However, all what seems slowly to get better. Still two weeks to go, let’s try again, the… ER!
My Vital Signs:
April 14th, 2010, a routine check up at my general Doctor’s office, including a few blood test, resulted in an acute hospitalization… Same night of my Doctor’s visit, the lab and on staff Doctor called and told me to check into the ER immediately. And if I could not get there myself, he would send a car! “Excuse me, what did you say…”?
I had a severe chemical imbalance, which had put my numbers quite far into to the danger zone, and according to the Doctor, I was at a high risk of having a seizure… Hm, I did not feel any different, than I had for a long time… I checked myself in the next morning, got hooked up to EKG etc. They treated me, as if I was about to die, - strange feeling! A few hours later, they told me, that they would keep me overnight due to the unknown reason for the still present imbalance… I was blown away! No way, I had time for this! Too much to do before my surgery. They told me that I definitely would not be going into any kind of surgery in this condition. Alright then, I guess, I will lie here, stare into the white wall for a while, and think… And so I did…
1. April 15th, 2010 (35 years old), at the Clinical Division Unit at St. John's Hospital, Santa Monica, and thinking things through:
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Finally, relaxed…:
After 24 hours of amazing care from an extremely nurturing and wonderful staff of Doctors and nurses, I was let on the loose…
Orders: Drink less water, (how about that!), discontinue your prescribed high dose of inflammatory medicine for your recent whiplash, and yes, you do have a thyroid, which actually is producing hardly nothing! Actually, you should be weak, fatigued, and a little dull or slow in your head… WHAT? Well, maybe this is why, I felt so stressed, like a "ticking bomb"... I forgot to pay attention to it, too busy keeping up with everything! With everything going on, well, you deal, you continue to deal, you work, you analyze, think, you do, you… Maybe I forgot to do nothing, and not think of anything... If I had, perhaps certain signs would have been a little more obvious?! Well, though I always have strived for perfectionism, I have also always pointed out, that I am far from perfect. Lesson learned! Relax, and quit striving to be perfect, when you know, it is impossible! Being the hard-headed person, that I am, it seems, as if I have to feel it on my body, in order to take it in and understand it! So, OK, I get it… However, the diagnose "HYPO-Thyroidism" I will be doing some research on. One has learned that the combination of own gathered information and several professional opinions are a must! Walking out of there, I felt refreshed and relaxed…
It took me a 24-hour EKG hook-up to mentally understand, how to really relax, as well as finding out about a chemical imbalance, which I unknowingly had been fighting! I knew about rest days related to training and sports, but to let go, and surrender, not just in competition on the road, but also in my head, when there is stillness, well…
You live, and you learn!
STATUS, as I re-launch my site:
April 25th, 2010, with three days before hip surgery, a loyal Personal Training clientele, a new and eager Sports & Life-style Modeling Agency, waiting for me to come back after hip surgery, as well as a few Speaking Engagements and Seminars already performed this year, more in the works both in the US as well as Denmark, I am positive and, so to speak, prepared to move forward! Stunt work is obviously on a “hold”, however, it is definitely not out of my system, so…
And, with quite a few other ideas brewing in my head, only time will tell, where, what and how, things will turn out! I am relaxed, I am wiser, and I am ready…
1. March 2010 (35 years old), my newly printed Zed Card with new agency. 2. April 2010, newly designed "Rack Card" made as a promotional piece for my Personal CORE Training & Seminars. 3. Back of card holds a "CORE 12 BASICS", a 12 step exercise program to the basics of CORE training:
Finally, an Athlete:
Dec. 26th, 2009, I wrote, “…Since 2006, every step taken, has been taken with deep conscience, - literally! Thanks to my injuries, I have become a better Athlete! Actually, I never really was one, - till now…”
This is my true feeling! Having to dig deep, mentally and physically, take thousands of steps backwards, (it felt like), letting go of career, sports, team, ego, pride, joy, fun, my addictive “endorphin high”, my identity, this has by far been the toughest thing, I have had to go through as of yet…
However, the experience of basically de-conditioning my body and mind, erasing what came natural to me physically and mentally, from getting out of bed, standing, walking, to my thinking patterns, then to start back up from scratch, only to end up with alarming vital signs, this has been a process extremely humbling to me, very educational, and in so many ways broadened my horizon!
On top of that, the feeling of this developing internal strength and power, which I previously had only heard of, but never felt, has been, and is close to unreal! It is one, you will only know, when experienced! As an Athlete:
CORE: “1, the heart or innermost part of anything… 2, the substance or essential point…” (The Winston Dictionary).
CORE: “The additional POWER Chamber inside of you”… (Majken)
The quote "The additonal POWER Chamber inside of you" in relation to an athlete, I refer to the the CORE physically, mentally and spiritually. The POWER from the deepest muscles supporting and guiding your skeleton, the POWER of thinking patterns, understanding and focus, as well as the POWER of calmness and the ability to surrender...
1-5. December 2009 (35 years old), at the Californian desert, shooting with Rich Cruse:
Story of Sob or Success:
One may ask, why I chose to write this story? Did I expect it to appear, and to be welcomed, as a story of success? Or did I just want everyone to feel sorry for me? None of that!
First of all, to those, who made it through the whole story, congratulations, that you actually stayed awake!…
The story to me is about Dedication, Discipline & Perseverance to one’s physique, health and performance! It is about the necessity to surrender to the moment, the movement, to challenges in competition and in life, to pain, fear and reality.
I am sure, that there are a few others out there, somewhere, who will be able to relate emotionally, someone, who feel just as committed and addicted to their physical performance, as I do…
The evaluation of the body mechanically, and now also chemically, as well as its relation to mental health has turned to such an ingrained act of mine, injured or not, returning to high performance or not! So as much as it has been painful, on different levels, it has become a part of me, my journey and life, an exciting and inspiring one too! And as my life continues on, so will my story…
Thank you so very much for taking a part in it!
Majken, 35, April, 2010
Then, 30 Minutes after...:
April 17th, 2010, I finished this “little” story “MY Body, My Story” the day after returning from the last mentioned ER visit and overnight hospitalization. About 30 minutes after writing the last period, my sweet and dear Grandmother passed away…
She was LIFE herself, and one of my biggest role-models! I will always remember her as THE PICTURE of TRUE HEALTH, physically, nutritionally, mentally and spiritually. She cared more about giving than receiving. She saw beauty in everything and everyone. She was extremely graceful, the way she moved, walked across the floor, the way she spoke, as well as the way she handled life and those around her. She was one of those few people, with a presence, you just could not help but notice, and be drawn to. Dignity was important to her! She carried it beautifully, and in a very humble kind of way, right up and till the end. It was clear though, that she felt that she had lost it towards the end, (not to me, or anyone else). However, now she has it back! 100 Years and 155 days, a life worth celebrating!
Mormor on her 100 year old Birthday, November 13th, 2009. Photo by Bertram Lange (my Step Father):
“Kaere Mormor, min "lille historie" er min TAK til dig.
Du "gav" mig den sidste og manglende brik til mit "puslespil"!
DU ved, hvad jeg mener ;) Jeg er dig forevig taknemmelig.
Jeg elsker dig Mormor, for altid”!! Majken
(Dear Grandma’, my "little story" is my THANK YOU to you.
You "gave" me the last and missing piece to my "puzzle"!
YOU know, what I am referring to ;) I am you forever grateful.
I love you Grandma', forever"!! Majken)
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